I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
