Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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