I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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