She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
