Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
