I hate your face
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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