we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm at about main and main street
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
