I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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