I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
