You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize