Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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