so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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