Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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