Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's never too late to be topless.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
