Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
