We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
