THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
