i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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