My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
