: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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