Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
NoShamevember. You game?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
