she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
