Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
