Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
