the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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