Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I would fuck him just for his dog
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