I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
