I feel like abortions should bother me more
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He has the fingertips of a God
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
