If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
