she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
