Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the liver wants what the liver wants
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
