I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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