Having a random hookup so left but love u
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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