He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize