I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
