I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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