ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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