So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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