am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
