You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
