I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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