i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
