I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
