i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
