using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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