Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
