oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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