u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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