yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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