suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
