I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
