What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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