He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
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