found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
