Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
