One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
