Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize