He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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