She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We got so high we made milksteak
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
