Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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