im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
