This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Come share oat with me in your robe
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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