I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
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Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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