Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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