hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize