A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
