So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
