no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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