If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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