ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize