get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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