When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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