You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
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Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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