At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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