Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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