just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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